She’s no Poetic Justice
But her poetry does her justice
Fire breathing , lyric speaking
She makes sense of the world
Through words
Eyes blind , yet she can read lips
Because from them flow
Her saving graces
Poetry is to she
What breathe is to life
What woman is to man
What husband is to wife
She exists only in the confines
Where words reside
She uses them to guide her
They feed her
To her they are
Life.
And what a life to live.
-Flobody
So I’m hosting this Open Mic next weekend in conjunction with promotion for an online boutique I just launched and I have to admit I am a bit nervous. I’m worried that the turnout will be less than encouraging or that one of the features won’t show. It’s something about me and events that gets me rattled despite the fact that I LOVE to plan them. I’m sure everything will go just fine I just always psyche myself up before the event and bombard my mind with scenarios that will probably never happen. I think the most unnerving thing about this event is that I am closing out the show with new material that has never been recited or read before. My stage presence has never lacked luster , but I’m afraid that the emotion from saying these pieces aloud will likely cause me to stumble over my words or forget them all together. And that would be completely embarrassing. I’m just hoping they will be received well. I keep telling my self that everything will be fine. And hopefully sometime before Saturday I’ll actually believe it. Ha!
The title for one of the pieces is called “Ask Me About ” ( No one knows this but you guys!)
And it starts off by saying
“Ask me about the time I said yes , and I should have said no “
Do you guys have a time you that you can recall where this would fit? Anyone out there brave enough to tell their story?
I’ll post the poem (my answer) after the event next Saturday!
-Taj
You are the only one I’m afraid to lose
The only heart that could make mine
Stop beating
The only person that I don’t mind needing
Your my heart , my bestfriend, my world
I am today & forever a Mommy’s girl
So don’t you dare leave me.
-Taj
So , there was this guy that I met at a bar while I was out celebrating a friend’s birthday. I’d have to say he was the highlight of my night. Not exactly my type ,but he made me laugh so effortlessly. I mean , I was a little drunk, but my amusement was sincere. It had been a while since a man a had enough charm to impress me, but he did. Now this can be impartially due to the fact that I am on a very strict love life schedule and I practically have everything spelled out from the moment we start courtship to the moment of conception of our children. Twin girls. Has to be twins.Has to be girls. The only thing that had been missing was a man. And, I decided he about solved that problem. And THAT is my problem. So from that moment on everything he did or said was being held under a microscope so I could cross-examine and analyze it a little further. Adding in my own two-cents when I felt less than convinced of his true intentions which I already knew. Or at least that’s what I told myself. Not having sex in 22 years could make a girl a little tense, you know? ( Just go ahead and dismiss the fact that I’ve never had it) I just have this idea of the man I want to spend the rest of my life with & for the moment he fit that description. Of course I had to tailor some of his personality to fit, but I made it happen. But after a week of what I’d call pointless small talk , he just stopped responding. And all I could think was , whelp, there goes my husband. Are you laughing at me yet ? Hell, I am!
I have no clue when I became THAT girl. Looking for a husband instead of a friend. Jumping the broom before exchanging middle names. I want to be married, I want to have children. I want LOVE. But I know it won’t come with me out here pounding down doors for it. And I never use to be like this. I guess my fear is clouding my judgement. I’m afraid that I’ll always be what I am right now, alone.
For his privacy I won’t say his name, but I’d like to say sorry. Sorry for caring more about how much of a potential husband and father you could be than enjoying the friend you had the potential to become. Sorry for casting my bias notions of love upon you & feeling disappointed when you didn’t compare to them. Sorry for running you away (or if you walked , that’s fine too) .Sorry for being so caught up on what could be that I neglected to live in what was. You didn’t deserve that, or maybe you did, but I would have never gotten to know that. You never got the chance to know me, but if you ever do , you’ll see I am not as crazy as this post might make me seem. I’m just a little more passionate about things. But I’m trying to change.
So guys, you don’t have to run. Maybe just a slow jog.
-Nataja
Normally when posting a new blog entry I sign my name , but , you’ll realize its not always the same. I have 2 alias that I use in addition to my real name which is Nataja {na-ta-ja} . One is a variation of my name , Taj. This is what most of my closest friends & family call me and the name I prefer to be called. The other is Flobody which is my poetic stage name. The signed name is dependent upon the piece and the emotions that it invokes. Here’s a breakdown:
Taj- Close to my heart. Most likely a secret or a emotional confession/discussion. Or could be a post directly from me addressing you .
Flobody- Majority of Voetry post . Poems & Song lyrics. Performance and written pieces.
Tell me who you like better ! 🙂
Just Talk, Ill Listen. 