Being Shameless . . . For Introverts.

[So I know it’s been forever , but you love me anyway. Right? I sure hope so.]

For any of you who follow me on any other social media site or who support my official website, thank you, you know that I have been doing anything but nothing. Moving to LA has been such a motivator as far as my creative ventures are concerned. I truly believe this is why God allowed the move to happen, to force me to create , even the days I don’t feel like it. I am in the process of publishing my very first book, I released a poetry album on Soundcloud and just shy of its 6 month anniversary my Youtube channel just reached 100 subscribers. Excited doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel right now. The only thing I am not doing right now is designing and that has more to do with my enviroment then my desire to do so, but I am working on moving into a place where I feel I can finish my newest collection.Even as personal situations and financial struggles plague my life my creativity seems to be in full effect and I am just happy that at least that part of my life is going right. And you know why? Because of a vow I made to myself , to promote myself as much as I do those I love and support. A vow to push my brand so hard that people have no choice, but to look. A vow to be

SHAMELESS.

Thanks to one of my new favorite YouTubers, Ms. Maya Washington aka Shameless Maya, I have decided to embark on the journey that started her on the path to being her best self, the #365ShamelessJourney. It all started when she asked herself a very basic, but necessary and life-changing question, “What would happen if I shamelessly promoted myself for 365 days?” If you wanna know her answer , watch her channel and be amazed. She inspired me to ask myself the same question and I did. By May 8, 2017 we shall have our answer. On the heels of accepting the channel of the #365ShamelessJourney I was given the honor of attending her birthday party/networking celebration , a sign of confirmation, and I realized a couple of things about myself that I forgot along the way.

1. I am still an introvert at heart. I am naturally silly, outgoing, talkative and personable , but only when I am comfortable and know those I am surrounded by. There’s nothing wrong with this, but it can be a hinderance if I allow it to be.
2. Big crowds incite a bit of anxiety for me . This isn’t something new , but I think it’s worse in settings where I need to be social because I haven’t yet learned how to manage it.
3. Being shameless cannot co-exist with insecurity. I have to make the conscious decision to love myself if I want other people to.

Yesterday’s event showed me that I still have a bit of spreading to do with these social butterfly wings , but I am confident that this year will bring forth the best me and I can’t wait to meet her; it’s been a long time coming. I encourage you all to join me, the more the merrier, and let’s celebrate 365 days of self-love and shameless promotion. We deserve it!

—-Stay connected with me—-

Official Website: www.natajazanelle.com

YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/c/natajazanelle

Soundcloud: www.soundcloud.com/natajazanelle

Social Media Handles: @NatajaZanelle (IG, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat)

 

 

As always, thanks for listening

-Taj<3

 

 

 

Simply Single [ & Waiting ] Day 30 Challenge

Day 7: Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point

When I think about it, I’m exactly where God wants me. Of course I thought by now I’d have my RN license & be working in my career field. Possibly courting someone. But truth is I wasn’t ready for any of that until now. My best years aren’t behind me , they are ahead. I have so much to look forward to. If I’m not in the same place next year then that’s progress. I won’t dwell on what could have been , I’m way too excited for what’s to come!!!

-Taj

Journey to You : Her Story. My Words

“This piece is dedicated to a young woman trying to navigate the muddy waters of life & love. Stay true. Always love. Live in your truth.”

You ever feel like there’s something missing

You try your hardest to stay focus

Reminding yourself “tunnel vision”

You’re trying to change, start fresh, really do it right this time

And that’s the very moment when everything but that, tries to plague your mind

So you bury yourself in your books

Get a little selfish and

Dedicate your time to being a better you

But somehow the past deflects the future

And it gets the best of you

You’ve been hurt enough times to know that love can wait

So you try to focus on living your life, getting it right, before you decide to date

But now at night the pangs of lonely start to sting

And the ache of old love still brings emotions

The kind that you no longer have room to deal with

At this point all you want is someone to love, someone you can be real with

And, in someone new, you think you’ve finally found it

But the timing is all wrong

You’re both still so young and trying to find yourselves

Promising each other

That it shouldn’t take that long

That when it’s right it’ll happen

Now you have something to look forward to, someone to make you happy

He’s everything you want . . . a friend, a comfort, a shoulder to cry on

Someone that you know without a shadow of a doubt you can rely on

But you’ve rushed things like this before and you know what it’s like

To lose a friend because you crossed a line that wasn’t done right

So you wait & appreciate the title of friend

But soon enough the past, he rears his ugly head

And you start to sing that old sad love song, again

Because he’s familiar, he’s what you’re use to

But you have to make yourself remember the lies and the pain

And realize

That that’s something you’ll never get use to

You try to convince yourself, you don’t miss him

Questioning, why does your heart still ache?

You pray, how long Lord?

How long will it take to rid him of your system?

How he is & who he’s with, should be none of your business

But somewhere inside the feelings are still there

And even when you don’t want to, you find that you still care

Way more than you should

Why is that we always crave what’s bad

And distance what’s good

The last thing you need is lust

A relationship should be built with substance

Like commitment and trust

Things you know you won’t get from him

Things you deserve, things you will need

Caught between to loves

Hoping that the one will set you free

So that the other might have you

But just as soon as you try to open your heart

He reaches in and grabs you

Proving he still has a hold

But love yourself enough to know that your future

Is brighter than any light he could ever shine on you

Realize that right here and now is the time for you

To be what you were called to be.

And the only thing that was ever missing

Was YOU

And the person you have the potential to be

So live in the now, let the past go

Because that kind of self-love

Is what will set you free

Don’t be afraid to chase your dreams

You be the light to the flame

And when you’re ready for love, call its name

Be the lighthouse that guides him back to you

Because love

True love

Is the only thing strong enough to anchor you.

-Taj

Just Talk, I’ll Listen

Sometimes you just need to say what’s on your mind, get it out. It doesn’t always make sense, the words sound wrong , but you need to relieve yourself of them. I get it. And as a poet I sometimes get so caught up on word structure and rhythmic patterns that I miss out on what my heart truly wants to say. Its okay to be a mess. Because sometimes , in that mess, is where you find your truth. So here is where I will allow myself to be as lost, confused & downright messy as it takes. I will be vulnerable & raw and I guarantee you will not see me in the light you once did. You will not hold me on the pedestal that you do. You will know that I too grow weak. You will see that I am human. So here’s go nothing… I’ll just talk. And I hope, that you’ll listen.

-Taj