Hello my name is Nataja Zanelle and I am TIRED.
Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally , spent.
Monday-Thursday I live the glorified “9-5 just to stay alive” ( more like 12 hours barely surviving) and then I go back to my designated corner of space ( i.e my friends couch ) and sleep my life away until it’s time to do it all again the next morning. I came to LA for something new , different and exciting and while the most of my time here has been in some way or another , I slowly see myself falling back into the monotonous life-sucking drain that is (was) my tedious daily routine. Work, sleep, work , sleep. There has to be more to life than just working to survive. I want to be clear, I know that I am blessed to be employed and I don’t take that for granted; the opportunities that I have been afforded are not lost on me. I’ve just always believed , what’s the point of working to exist if you never get to live? I made a vow to myself that I would start doing what I love regardless of whether I was compensated for my work and I have, but , a little recognition would be nice. I write this blog post with a headache from getting too little sleep last night and I have a 12 hour day ahead of me; I could vomit. Yet, I press on. Last week , I took an unexpected sabbatical from social media; no procrastination , but no productivity either. I am always running full-speed to where I want to be that I forget that it’s okay to slow down, stop and take a breath, realizing that life is a marathon and not a sprint. I know, this blog post is everywhere and no where at all, sort of like my thoughts, but fellow creatives and dreamers will understand. Sometimes it’s hard when people don’t see or care to see your vision, but the ugly truth is that not everyone will. You have to be willing to love what you love even when your the only one that does. For the dreamer , who constantly works to both live and exist, but still feels invisible in the big picture , I SEE YOU. Never stop doing what makes you happy; money won’t buy you peace of mind. From one creative to the next: Keep working, I appreciate you 🙂
As always , thanks for listening