The Beginning Of An End

I wrote up my two weeks notice today. I’ve been at my job for almost eight years and honestly I am scared to death.

What if I made the wrong decision? What if I can’t find another job? What will I do then?

But if I am being totally honest I think I am way more scared of this question

What if I never leave?

Although nursing is what I thought I wanted to do, 4 years into this job I knew that I was wrong; still I stayed. Why? I was comfortable and content, I rationalized that couldn’t find another job to pay me what I’m making now. And that’s one of the reasons I know it’s time for me to say goodbye. I never wanted to be the woman who loathed going to work everyday , the woman who felt stuck and tired of being tired. That’s my everyday now. I have no creative freedom and all my gifts and talent lay dormant as I chase an old dream that no longer holds any value. I have so many goals and aspirations and none of them involve the nursing field. I will say that I am thankful for the opportunity to have been apart of something bigger than myself and to be able to work everyday knowing that I am making a difference; no greater feeling. But I made a promise to myself to stop when it no longer served its purpose in my life and I feel like I broke that promise to myself some time ago. And now I am being a woman of my word. I won’t forget the experience and the memories of my first and only nursing job, straight out of high school and wet behind the ears. I am a big believer that being “faithful over few, will make you ruler over many” and for that I have to catch myself sometimes when I am complaining and be reminded that at one point this was something I wanted. I will miss my residents and my staff workers that I have built a bond with. Now I have to pray for the courage to actually hand it in. I know that leaving is a big leap that I am taking out of my comfort zone, but it is very necessary. It has been a long time coming and I ask for your thoughts and prayers during this time of transition. It’s goodbye to a large part of who I am today and that is not easy at all for me. It’s the beginning of an end. But you know what they say . . .

“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” – Paul Coelho

I sure hope they’re right.

As always , thanks for listening<3

-Taj

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4 thoughts on “The Beginning Of An End

  1. Sending out a prayer for you!
    In the last twenty of thirty years, I have changed nursing specialties all for the sake of being able to raise my daughter ( solo) and not sacrificing the quality of my relationship with her. When she went off to college, I had to do some serious reflection. But it was a little of the opposite for me – I was working in Insurance medical case management, feeling like my soul was being sucked out of me. A job in an outpatient surgery setting has been a blessing
    I praise your courage!

    1. Thank you so much !! I feel like it’s so important that you love what you do and the fact that you put your daughter first is beautiful . All too often parents get so wrapped up in providing financially that they lose sight of how important an actual relationship with their child/ren is. But thank you so much for your prayers , they are appreciated !

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