I Am Ready

One of my best-friends told me today that “I think you need to go to church to find your husband.” We weren’t talking about relationships or anything , I think she must could feel that some of my frustration was from my lack of excitement in the area of romance. Well I wouldn’t say lack as much as non-existence . And honestly it was some of the best unsolicited advice I have ever been given. I told her she was right and that we should go together. I’ve been saying recently that I would really like to get back into going to church regularly . But what I omitted was that I’m afraid . Afraid to go back , because I’m not the girl I use to be . In some ways I am thankful for that , but mostly I’ve changed for the not so good . I’m not who I use to be and while I know The Lord will love me anyway it’s not so much him , but the people who knew me for what I was and what they’ll think when they see me now. I could go on and on about how peoples opinion don’t matter and they shouldn’t and for me they do . I am embarrassed . And what Godly man would look at me . I guess it’s easier to look in the world because that’s what I see when I look in the mirror. But that’s not what I want. That’s not who I want to be . So as scared as I am , as embarrassed as I am , I’m coming home. Because that’s where I belong . Husband , your wife will be ready .. when you are.

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