You + Me = Three

I had a conversation with my father about a month back and something he said has resonated with me more so then I’ve ever let be known. We were talking about the difficulty of blended families and how no matter what it’ll never be the same as having a family where all the children are born of the same mother and father ; I myself am from a blended family. Some of you who’ve been following my blog for a while might know the back story of my upbringing and my estrangement from a portion of my family , especially my stepmother. If you don’t, I encourage you to read back to the open letter I wrote to her; it might be able to provide you with more insight as to why I have the feelings I do about blended families. Unfortunately ,my experience is not one that I recall happily. I am almost positive this is one of the reasons why I’ve always been more so reluctant if not completely unwilling to allow myself to enter a relationship of any sort with a man who has a child/ren. I don’t think that this is something I’ve ever expressed to my father but in the conversation we were having I remember him saying that one day “I would see for myself ” and that sometimes God places us in the very situations that hurt us to give us better knowledge of what it’s like from the perspective ; the inside looking out if you will . Basically he was saying that one day I’d be fated to repeat the cycle of being with someone who had children out of wedlock and that once we had children of our own I would see firsthand how hard it really is to blend the two. In retrospective all I could do was think about how he had just confirmed a fear of mine is destined to come true .Without even knowing it , he had just voided all of my efforts to not become my parents. Apart of me hopes to God that he’s wrong while the other half knows he’s right. The ironic thing is that some if not most of the recent encounters I’ve had ( in which my interest was piqued) were with men who have children. Is that a sign of confirmation? I don’t know. But what I do know is that the cycle won’t repeat with me. At least not in the same way. Should God choose to send me a man who already has children, any and all love I have for him will be for those kids too. When I say “I Do” to him , I’ll be saying it to those children too. And that’s something I’ll never regret or take back . You can quote me on that.

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