A Dream Come True . . . Sadly

So I had a dream this morning. Not the best one I’ve ever had (and that my friends is an understatement). But I think what hurts the most is that I feel like it was a confirmation, one that I wished would never come. It’s like you know you need to let someone go but the action part is always hard. My dream pretty much summed up the conclusion I came to while in my conscious state, I was just hoping that I could still enjoy him in my dreams. Not anymore.The pain in my heart is something that only someone as broken as I felt could relate to. I knew for a while now that he wasn’t mine. I knew that that desire of my heart would never be fulfilled. But I just never was able to commit to going through with cutting him out of my life. Because that’s what I do. I cut you out of my life , I distance you from me and I try to pretend like you don’t mean as much as you do. I try to the whole out of sight out of mind. And it works for awhile. Until I see them or someone says their name. Then I’m right back where I started. But that’s how I cope. I don’t know any other way. So here I am again, putting up my blinders, locking the padlock on my heart and pulling out the scissors. I just never thought it’d be you and in the same breath I always hoped it would be . If that makes any sense. Hell, I probably make no sense. But then again neither does not being loved by the one that you love. But tis is life. *shrugs*

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