So he’s coming back town and he hasn’t said one word to me about it. I wouldn’t even have any knowledge of this had it not been for his Facebook post. Oh the joys of social media! What am I talking about ? Right . I guess that would be nice to mention, sorry.
In short , I fell for a close male friend (mistake #1 ) , wrote him a poem expressing how I felt (mistake #2) and he completely ignored it. Therefore leaving me to imply that the feeling was not mutual. To add insult to injury he moved thousands of miles away and is near impossible to contact. To say the least I was hurt but we managed to continue our friendship however scarce was his presence in it. He’s one of the only males in my life who’s opinion holds any weight.
Andddd, it has been YEARS since I’ve seen him and I truly do miss him. So the fact that he’s going to be in town and has yet to contact me in any way makes me question whether or not we are truly friends. Like he would totally be on my list to contact had I decided to come to his state of residency. But I guess that’s just me. Maybe I’m reading to much into it. Maybe it’s an oversight. But I can’t help but feel like I’m not important enough to make it a point to come see me. My cousin told me I should just contact him and I guess maybe if I saw him as just a friend I wouldn’t take it as personal and that’s probably what I would do. But he means more to me. And its the principal. If he really wanted to see me, he would have told me. I mean he doesn’t get here to Monday , but what are the chances he’ll even call/text then. That’s wishful thinking. I won’t count him out just yet, but I won’t be waiting by the phone either. I’m tired of not being wanted. It’s exhausting. For once I’d like the man I like to like me back. Is that so wrong?
So guys , he’s back! Just not for me. And that’s what hurts most. Merry effing Christmas.
(Not sure if he reads my blog, so if he does, I’m hoping he ignores this like he did my poem haha)