You

This is a piece I wrote for a friend. I pray she one day finds the courage to love her self enough to be free .

I always thought it’d be you
When we first I met, I thought to myself
This. Is. it
This is where I want to be
And sure, maybe we weren’t where we wanted to be individually
But we had each other
And together we made a plan to grow, to build
Took a vow to love, forever and for always
And I’ll be the first to say, I never thought we’d see this day
The day I’d fall out of love with you
There’s days now when I can’t ever bear to look at you
Where is the man I fell in love with?
It hurts me to my heart because I didn’t sign up for this
Lonely yet not alone
I live in a damn house but what I really want is a home
What happened to dreaming, you’re complacent, and we’ve grown stagnant
We’re roommates in a marriage, did you not mean what you said back then?
Because what I said I meant, my words were true
I married a man that I loved, one who I thought was you
And maybe I’m to blame, maybe I’m the reason you changed
Hell, I guess I’ve changed too
I just feel I don’t matter anymore to you
It’s like what I have to say doesn’t bother you one way or another
We are supposed to be partners but I feel like we are competing with each other
I feel unappreciated, when I work my ass off to provide
But if I said I didn’t miss the old us that would be a lie
Because I’m holding on, deep down, hoping you are too
There’s times when I just want to get up and leave, but I can’t, and it’s you
As much as I hate you sometimes, I can’t imagine life without you
Because I remember the good times, the dreams we use to have
The love we use to share and I just don’t get how it got so bad
Where did we go so wrong; I don’t even know who you are anymore
We’ve become strangers and I fear each day I get closer to the door
Closer to being done with it all
I fell, thinking you would catch me, never bracing myself for the fall
Because I loved you, no more than that, I trusted you
And maybe I shouldn’t have
Had I known who you would grow to be, I wouldn’t have
Did we make a mistake?
Am I holding on to a man who wants me to let go?
I don’t have all the answers, but this is something I need to know
Can’t you just take me in your arms and kiss me so deeply
Run your fingers through my hair, tease me
Make me believe in you again so much that
That I forget the pain you caused
I remember a time when I felt solace in your arms
But since then they have grown cold
The games, they’re getting old
What I need is for someone to want me
To look me in my eyes and tell they love me
And mean it
But maybe my knight and shining armor is me then
Maybe I’m one who’ll do the saving and the loving too
But it’s just funny because
I always thought it would be you

-Flobody

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