Hard To Do

I can taste the salty stains of tears
upon his lips
As he stumbles forward, backward
forward , backward
two times to the side
just to give me a kiss
” You know I love you, right”
He whispered way too harshly
But I didn’t answer
I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me
Or the poison he was sipping on
No occasion needed
He uses it as a means to drown out all
The demons he’s been sitting on
He’s not as bad as last time
Good thing too, because covering new bruises
When the old ones are still blue
Is kinda hard
Not even concealer
Can cover a hit that hard
And I never know what I did wrong this time
“It’s going to hurt me more than it hurts you”
And here I thought that was just a parent’s lie
I’m his personal punching bag
A shame his hands aren’t registered
Apparently this cycle was inherited
Beat er’ then pleasure her
Daddy always said.
Funny how demons never die with the dead
So here I am lying beneath his sweat & regret
Drowning
So most times I just black out
Go somewhere sunny &
Beautiful & try to appreciate the view.
But where I’m from the sun dont shine
And beauty dont live here
So its kind of hard to do.
And when you love someone
More than you love yourself
Leaving
Is hard to do.

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